a New, New York State of Mind

When I first arrived in New York after three months of living in France I forgot all the reasons I had loved this city. In three months I had roamed the streets of Paris, traveled to Barcelona, drove through the French countryside, explored the Normandy coast and gained a new found appreciation for savoring life. The best example I can come up with is one night, over a meal in Normandy, I was rushing through my course in preparation for dessert when I saw my company eating slowly, enjoying each bite. A lifetime in America had taught me to move quickly while a lifetime in France had taught him to savor life--it was then that I began to slowdown. I guess this is the essential difference between America and Europe, our lives are built around over consumption in everything--food, clothes, drinks, etc--in our country less is not more as excess seems to be paramount. Yet, in Europe life is less about quantity and more about quality in that they savor the taste of a good drink or fine meal rather than inhale it in preparation for the next course. While living abroad I managed to finally slowdown and rather than rush through life I started to appreciate the simplistic beauty of it. I replaced my blackberry with face to face conversation, I walked down the streets and took in my surroundings rather than obliviously rushing by and above all I connected with myself.

When flying back to New York, the central hub of excess and rush, I worried that I would lose my new found sense of self and appreciation; that the city would trample over my new attitude and at first it felt like it did. Being pushed on subways, lost in crowds, bad weather, poor attitudes and a constant chaotic rush left me feeling downtrodden and questioning why I had come here. I tend to be a romantic and a dreamer and many times the scenario I play out in my mind is more picturesque than the reality; there was no exception for my arrival to New York. I had pictured myself hitting the ground running, armed with a new European attitude, strong sense of self and optimistic outlook. I literally imagined myself changing New York's frown upside down by simply being that person that smiles and radiates positivity. The reality was I came to New York overwhelmed and the only thing worse than the constant grind of the city was the French music, foods and language that popped up everywhere I went, even on one particularly bad day a subway entertainer sang Edith Piaf, Non Je Ne Regret, making me long for France. 

I have begun to find my footing in this city and the reasons I love it here have begun to trickle back, reminding me that it was in fact this city that inspired me to travel to Europe in the first place. New York is where American and European ideals converge, a city of both excess and beauty that inspires and grounds people, rushes them but stops them in their tracks. I miss France but I know that I don't have to look far in New York to find a corner of this world where I can slow down and savor life.